20 facts about me

I just being cool since Fena tagged me with this stuff, and dont wanna mess with my instagram. So here we go.

1. I can't correctly say the alphabet 'R'
2. I got dark skin
3. I have curly hair
4. I'm underweight
5. I have rabbit teeth
6. I only have birthday once in every 4 years
7. I prefer to swallow all my bitter emotion by myself, instead of sharing with anyone. But I really like it when someone share their's to mine. It makes me feel that they trust me.
8. It's really hard for me to hate someone, and really hard to get mad.
9. I prefer to be sad, rather than be angry.
10. I'm a lazy person. But that doesn't mean that Im irresponsible.
11. I got athmatic problem.
12. I got my ego high when it's on opinion (when I have a strong reasoning on it) but I prefer my ego low when it involve others emotion.
13. I'm not good with sports, and I dont like it.
14. I'm a 'skema' person if breaking that particular rules making me a sinner.
15. Its really hard for me to get motivated. But I do my best in most of things.
16. I dislike any food with chilli. But I can eat spicy food.
17. I like it when people being honest with me.
18. I love art so much, especially music.
19. I dont judge people by its pass. I judge people by its 'deen'.
20. I love Allah, Prophet Muhammad, my family, my friends, and my 'calon isteri'.

Passion

Ada sorang member aku encourage aku utk bergiat balik dlm bidang music ni. So, here I am.
Sementara cuti ni, aku buat lagu. Main game pun kadang2 je. Focus lebih kat bidang music ni, sbb passion aku dah kembali.

Yeah, passion aku dlm bidang ni. Kalau xkerana passion, tak mampu aku nk fokus lama2 depan laptop, pastu tarik gitar, pastu depan laptop balik. Korang mungkin tgk lagu 3minit tu nmpk simple, tp hakikatnya xsemudah yg disangka. Drum roll, gitar, bass tab, lead, select plugin, settings. I try my best to remake all songs 1by1.

About Zero Range. Aku rasa now aku nak gerak solo je. Theory music dah ada, cukuplah sekadar aku mampu buat lagu2 ZR balik secara solo. Cuma suara aku yg meow meow ni xla sebagus Lazman Lee (tu yg aku rasa). Sebut R pun xbetul. But still thats it for ZR. Aku xnak kata ZR disband, tp aku nk tunggu org lain dlm ZR yg nk hidupkan balik. Bila org dah xda minat, buat apa nk paksa.

And pasal sokongan. Aku tau, ada yg memperlekehkan. Ada yg xamik kesah pun. Nak click ''play'' tu pun berat, inikan pulak nk bg pendapat. Yes, I know. Aku sedar, aku bukan bagus mana pun. Bukan best pon lagu aku, haha. Xkan la smpai nak kena pm sesorang pass lagu, dah mcm desperados pulak.

But still, Im doing what I love to do, and what I can do. Tak kesah la apa org nak kata cos I still got few friends that keep on supporting me, family, ひかり by my side. That's enough to keep me on track. Dgn bagi idea, bg semangat , dan ada yg sanggup nk cover lagu aku. Thank you so much.

Last but not least, here's my soundcloud. https://soundcloud.com/awie-eijishi. Kalau rasa rajin, dengar la lagu baru aku dlm tu, titled My Sacrifice. Kalau lagi rajin, komen sekali.

Peace.

zzz

I'm a happy go lucky person, but that doesn't mean that I can't be serious. When I'm serious, I hope you guys do the same. There's always a limit in acting childishly.

Feel so messed up till no song in the iTunes suits my mood now. zzz.

The people who left behind.

Everyone still happy with the digree intake result. Most of my friends get the chance to further their studies. Yeah, I do feel happy too. But still, I got this mix feeling. I feel abit sad. For those who left behind.

That 19th July, I check the Penerapan result with my handphone. And the result ''tidak berjaya'' pop out. I check my IC number and key in multiple times but still nothing changed. The feeling of despair,broken, sad, confusion. My eyes starts to get teary and questioned myself ''Did I mistakenly fill in the application form?", "Did they consider my C in Thermodynamics subject as not-fit-to-study in Mechy?", "Or did they mistakenly put my name out from the list?", ''what should I do now?"

But then,a few minutes later, Zabid tell me where exactly I should click. By then I know I clicked the wrong link. And I did get the chance to further my study in EM220, at UiTM Shah Alam. Alhamdulillah. I directly sujud syukur at that time.

Allah give me that few minutes feeling of someone who didn't get the chance to further his studies. Its really painful. At that time I realize, Im not that strong to face failure.

The people who left behind, isn't just them who ''tidak berjaya'' in the application. People who still didn't finish their diploma journey also being left behind, and people who stop the journey mid way. Surely in their mind, they will keep thinking ''It would be nice if Im moving with the same phase with my friends....''.

For my friends that still on your diploma journey, especially Haidhar, please don't give up. Finish the things that you had started. We all have different paths, but in the end, the destination is still the same. For our brighter future, and for the knowledge. You can do it, I believe in you. I know that one day you will be the architect that build my house.

And for Noa, you're not stuck with time, but you're stuck with the place. Honestly, I really hope that we can together go to UiTM Shah Alam, but Allah is the best planner. Maybe He want you to accompany Haidhar there. Well atleast you got Anip with you. Now Its time for us to depart.

Im gonna miss both of you there. I dont care if this sounds gay or not. I bet I can't have much laughter without both of you guys.

Now we still got time to hangout. And hopefully, we're gonna meet again during holidays later. Or we can always meet in Legendia.

Every good thing will have its end

>_<

Working pt.2

I've been working around 3 weeks. It's quite tiring because I don't have shift. From 10am until 10.30pm. And it's repeated almost everyday. But it feels really good because finally I can set my mind to rest, and my body do all the work.

Just like what Faki said, ''bila duduk rumah lama-lama, mula la terfikir bnda ni la, bnda tu la". So getting busy is really a good thing. It's like I put my mind into a limbo, and my body stays in reality. (When you wanna work aa Faki? haha )

There are 4 people that work together with me. My uncle, Kak Is, Nuoy and Ahdeq. Ahdeq just work as a part timer here. Its really funny when I have a conversation with Kak Is using 'Kak Is-saya' because Nuoy just used 'aku-ko' with her. It's funny because they will suddenly change into 'akak-adik' conversation infront of me. Haha. Well I feel like its important to put 'kak' for girls that is older than me (although some says they don't like it). I feel more comfortable. I really do wanna call Wawa with Kak Wawa but considering none of the boys use it so.....I just call her Wawa.

One thing that I feel really weird is that I suddenly become more sensitive these days. There's a time when a family with their children that suffer retardation come to the counter to order Nasi Ayam from me, I'm stunned and nearly cried.
Listening to sad song also become dangerous as it immediately change my mood =_=''

Other than that,I feel isolated with people working around here.Feels like I'm a total stranger. How come yesterday the casher girl from the beverages stall asked me ''kerja sini ke?'' when I'd already work here this long. Or maybe she just wanna have a chat, but asking that question aa..ask other thing cannot meh? @_@

The only people I recognized come to RTC Gopeng is one of UiTM Penang ENT lecturer and Nurakmal's family. Her father, mom and sister. It's funny because Pakcik Azizan wears blue T-shirt with "Azizan'' name on it. Then I immediately check Akmal's FB to confirm it's her father >_< . Akmal lazy to follow them, wew.

Last but not least, the danger will be far away from now. So I'm safe for now. But still I got this mixed feelings. Aiyaa.......  *Bang head on wall*

Working

I'd started to work at my uncle's Chicken Rice shop, at RTC Gopeng. This is the 2nd days. Quite tiring, been doing all sort of work. From casher till cooking. But still it's fun to learn all sort of things.

But being busy is a good thing, because I can distract my mind from keep thinking of thattttaannnywayy..

It feel so good to say thank you, and smile to so many strangers each day :D

Come visit me here, keke

A Diploma Story, Episode 0: Time Spent Walking Through Memories

I am afraid. Each time I click on this orange-B sign, I feel really afraid, and sad.

Because the only thing that will cross my mind, is about past memories. And as my finger dancing on this keyboard, I feel that my mind becoming numb and dull. Feels like I'm forcing my fingers to move, to write here.

This feeling, it is the same as when I'm leaving my beloved high school.

It feels like, watching the last episode of a very good drama series. You know it's the last episode, and you just hope that time would move slower, so that you can enjoy the very last moment of it. 

And when it's over, you will be asking ''Is that it? I need more.''  

3 years had passed and I'd already finish my diploma in Mechanical Engineering at UiTM Pulau Pinang. Too many things happen, too many things that I had learn. And now, It's a bitter time for me to say goodbye to friends, lecturers, Casa Prima, and UiTM Pulau Pinang. Arigatou..Sayonara..

Conviction (Something to keep safe)

Too many things happen these past years. Too many things to say.

I dont know from which I should start.

Whether the words later will reach personas.

I'm not sure,

but still, I will gather the strength to keep on writing here.

In the game of cat and mouse, it's really tiring.

Because the fact is, there's too many things that too good to be true.

Thats It !

*BOOOMM*

Its like a hit to the face, adoiyaii..

tiba2 terfikir pula kan.. so wanna share it here..here it is

Mungkin Allah belum temukan aku dgn jodohku kerana belum cukup sempurna imanku !

BANG BANG BOOM ! rasa mcm terkena straight to the face.. my own thought, give me facepalm..

This is it ! an accurate reason.. this is the answer

Yela, kalau iman sendiri tak terjaga, cemana nk jaga iman org lain betul tak?

well maybe I should change little by little. Mana2 kurang tu kena repair. InsyaAllah.

Thin line

A thin line, that no one would notice.

It goes naturally.

But that thin line,

seperates between the one that being remember and the one that being forget.

It's not changes, it's just a travel.

Between sides.

Observer

Hey you, I know that you know it. You know what happen at this moment,and what probably would happen in the future. But you just like to observe things from far. You didn't let yourself into this, and you don't want to.. but I know that you really did understand the situation that occur,right? Cos you had asked me that question a long time before. And it's really the truth. You're really a good observer.

But the truth is, there's nothing that can be done to change it.

Hey observer, sometimes I wish that you're in it. To make things more... interesting.. and complicated.

For You in Full Blossom

If you don't do stupid things while you're young, you'll have nothing to laugh about when you're old.

True friends will not let you do stupid things alone.

If you had ever watch Hanakimi, why not watch it again now.. What Cikgu Naziha had said years back then is really true.. high school is the best time of your life.. full of spirit, love, friendship.. it's when you started to learn the cruel reality in life.. yet, immaturity letting you to do all those stupid,funny things..It's sad that high-school in Malaysia is focusing too much on academic.. yeah I know, academic is important to our future.. but still, I would be more fun if there's more fun activity, involving all students,from all classes.. 

I didn't regret in what I had done during my years in high school.. there's plenty of things that I had done.. with friends of course.. Ahh how I wish I can return to those time.. If I know that I would miss high school this much, I would create much more memories there.. 

ps- Sulli definitely can't beat Horikita Maki..she's so cute, no wonder Zaim fall for her :3

Cep-cep-ception !

Weird dream, can't conclude what actually happening. But that person there.. looks down and lonely.. although I'm accompanying.. what the heck... -.-

Punching bag

How I wish that at this exact moment,I'm at the Kota Keriangan bus stop.. Alone,eating chocolate waffle with Coke.. watching cars passing by the road.. doing just that...
Or in the Pondok.. just me and the black kapok guitar.. breaking the silence with Spanish Romance song.. doing just that...

Ima taimu mashin ni norikonde

anatani ai ni iku,Koto ga dekita nara

nou nanimo negawanai

Hakakute tooi kioku ni naru mae ni

I need a time machine

Snow Flower

If two people meet and they both fall in love, that's destiny for sure. If neither loves the other, even if they meet millions of times,
it's still not destiny! If one's in love and the other isn't, and the one who's in love grabs on and won't let go while the other just wants to run away, not only is it not destiny...it's pain.

*I do believe that I can learn to love someone,and who knows? maybe it is a destiny...but yeah, the last one is true, it's painful.


You say you love that person, but you keep asking for a return. Truthfully, you are not sincere at the first place.

*What if I tell you, asking for a return just showing that he is serious? well think about it.. asking for a return and forcing you to accept is two different thing.. if he ask for a return,the choice is still yours.. if it's NO, then it's done.. no more quarrel..


When your love is unrequited, it doesn't mean you are a loser. Actually, Allah has reserved the best one for you.

*Thanks for this.Good luck on finding your soulmate too. Goodbye :D

The wind rattled the window 

The night shakes you awake 
I will change any sorrow 
Into a smile 

Thus the snow flowers fell 
Outside the window 
Unceasing 
And colored our town 
I realized that love means 
Wanting to do something 
For someone else...

The snow flower, doesn't feel any cold

because it's already accepting reality

to put a smile on faces

and it's left forgotten..

Go away

Alhamdulillah, my athma is getting cured.. yeah, maybe people would say "ahh small matter,asma sikit je pun,ngada2 gila ko".. but you never know,cos u didn't feel it.. yesterday I spew a lot before I went to KFK class.. I don't want to inhale the 'drug' cos it would make me sleepy and shaking..still got posters to finish and helping Nurakmal on it.. it's better to endure each breath than being ''weird''...

Well,breathing heavily and deeply is so tiring.. do u know that?

Yeah, maybe I look fine, laughing here and there.. but u didn't even know the truth.

Asma

Oh this medicine.. coded GO/DRUGS536B.. inhale it 4 times will cause your hand to shaking, heart beating fast and suddenly laloq-ness.. well I'd better get off to sleep. =.=

Rest

Yeaap, maybe I should rest my mind for a bit.. too much of thinking makes me bingeul bingeul @_@

watching J-dorama really helps a lot.. and the sweet face of Aragaki Yui, ohhhh >_<

Yui-chan ! hontouni daisuki ! sorry Erika xD

Kawaii level over 9000 ! >_<

That Type of Girls that I Respect !

Walaooo~ just my point of view ok ! so here come the list !

1.Girls who have good akhlak and akidah.For sure this is number 1 in the list. Doesn't need longer explanation :)

2.Girls who have their own special dream.Bear in mind that this special dream isn't what occupation that they aim for future. Something special. Something that they love to do and makes them one of a kind.  A dream that they hope can be achieved from effort that they make.

3.Girls who change from free-hair to wearing hijab and covering aurat. This one deserve "spring-type" solute !
 Respect ! Atleast from free-hair, to "sometimes wear hijab" also fine, cos maybe one day that "sometimes" become everytime.

4.Girls who can play music instruments. This one also special,cos most girl doesn't have interest to play music instrument. Most of them just say "I wanna learn to play !" but in the end, doesn't give any effort -,- keh3..
I got few of friends who can play guitar. Gimmeehh five ! BUT, I hate girl who play guitar+sing and upload to Youtube.No need to do that, just play for fun is enough.

5.Girls who brave enough to live far away from home. Not all people can endure homesick. You're brave girls, respect ! Until now I can't believe that clumsy Farah Noerhana studying medic at Egypt :P

6.Girls who respect me as a friend. For sure I will respect you back :D

PS-maybe I will edit this post a lil :P

Fate/Zero

I don't know what kind of weird fate I'm facing currently,since the 1st day of semester break till now. It's like I'm being bind,and stacked with sort of things that out of my thinking capacity and capability. Today, in the Majlis Alumni SMK Seri Iskandar, among 40 to 50 table there, I'm at the same table with Lemon. I don't hold any grudges with her,I don't hate her,..just that it's some kind of weird things to happen.Coincidence, or maybe fate.Thanks god Hyda and Copie also in the same table to accompany me. To Lemon, I'm sorry to be there and ruin your mood. Hontouni gomenasaii.

In the end, Hinata didn't come. I feel grateful, maybe. It's a good think that she didn't come, maybe I can erase her easily. I really afraid to see her.Now I understand what one of my friends said on how he so afraid to see a girl.

Still,it's still fun to be there with friends, teachers. And we, the ZERO RANGE also performed 2 songs there,Bintang Jingga (which had been changed to Bintang Kehidupan) and The 4 Seasons.Friends, they really helps me to escape from my serabut thinking I'm having now. Thanks guys.

Now I'm in the state of "don't want to think of anything". Too much things that makes me tired mentally. Even makes me feels like I'm leaving....AstaghfirullahAlazim..