Working

I'd started to work at my uncle's Chicken Rice shop, at RTC Gopeng. This is the 2nd days. Quite tiring, been doing all sort of work. From casher till cooking. But still it's fun to learn all sort of things.

But being busy is a good thing, because I can distract my mind from keep thinking of thattttaannnywayy..

It feel so good to say thank you, and smile to so many strangers each day :D

Come visit me here, keke

Ramadhan

~prepare nutella for sahur !~

Today is the first day of Ramadhan,berbuka with family at Taman Maju. Alhamdulillah for the opportunity that Allah gave me. Hope that this Ramadhan will be a "reset" button for me.

To all that reading this, I pray that we can finish this Ramadhan victoriously.InsyaAllah.

*around one and a half hour before athan!*

"Mom,I can't walk anymore."

 
 Is it only matter of me being patient? One year ago, I could stand, I could talk and I could laugh. Now, I can't walk, however much I try, however much I grit my teeth and try to hold on with a frown.
   "Mom,I can't walk anymore,"I write on a piece of paper, restraining my tears, "I can't stand even if I hold on to something". I open the door slightly and gave it to her.I closed the door again quickly because I didn't want her to see my face, and I knew it would be painful to see Mom's face.
    I crawled three meters to the toilet.The corridor was chilly.The soles of my feet are soft like a normal palm of hand.But my palms and knees are hard like a normal sole of the foot.Crawling's not a nice thing to do,but it can't be helped.It's the only way I can move around...
   I felt somebody behind me.I stopped and looked back...There was Mom crawling behind me,without saying anything...Her tears were falling to the floor..All of my suppressed emotions suddenly burst out and I started crying.
   Mom held me tightly and let me cry as I wished.Her knees were soaking wet with my tears,and her tears wet my hair.
   "Aya,we're sad,but we'll keep going,OK? I am with you. Now,let's go back to your room before your bottom gets cold.I'm strong enough to carry you on my back. Even if we have an earthquake or a fire,I'll help you first.Don't worry and sleep tight.There's no need to think about unnecessary things."
   Then she carried me back to my room in her arms.

I've become a person who can do nothing but weep and whimper.The lump on an inferiority complex is growing inside my brain. I think it's a product of being disabled.But I'm still alive. I'm continuing to breathe in order to live-because I can't die,and nothing can be done about me.That's a dreadful way to say it.When I cry, I get wrinkles on my eyebrows and my face becomes ugly.To improve my face when I look at the mirror, I try to grin, even though there's nothing funny.

written by Aya Kito:Diary of Tears (1 Litre of Tears)

Melancholy.

Aku skang kat KL.Dah sminggu kat sini.Duk rmh parents.Tp kali ni kehadiran aku kat sini bukan mcm dulu2,dtg nk have fun.Jalan2 sini sana.Kali ni dtg dgn tugas, tanggungjawab yg diamanahkan kpd aku sbg abang sulung, utk mnjaga ayah aku kat hospital.

Ayah aku ada sakit jantung.And operation utk gantikan stand salur jantung.Sedih.Anak mana xsedih kalau ayah sendiri sakit.Tp tu kuasa tuhan.Dia yg merancang.Kte kne redha dgn ketentuan illahi.

Hospital satu tempat yg, walau bagaimana cantik pun design dalaman hospital tu,atau betapa ramainya awek nurse yg cun2 kat situ, ia ttp mmberi impak kesayuan. Logiklah kan, bila kte tgk kiri kanan org sakit. Pakcik makcik terlantar.

Lg mnyedihkan, masa aku teman ayah aku dlm wad ICU,btul2 sblh katil ayah aku tu, ada (allahyarham) seorang pakcik lingkungan usia 50 tahun sedang nazak. Anak2 dy berkumpul baca Yaasiin. Aku smpat intai skrin condition jantung. Mmg dah critical. Aku turun skjap tunaikn solat maghrib, bila aku naik balik kat wad ayah aku,pakcik sblh dah mninggal.

Anak2 dy mnangis. Mak ayah aku pun mcm dah bergenang air mata. Masa tu ayah aku masih lg tgh baring, baru lepas operation.

Cuba la korang bygkn klau korang berada di tempat ayah aku tu. Mndengar berita kematian dari sblh katil je. Sedangkn diri sendiri pun sdg sakit.

Duduk sblh katil ayah aku,termenung.Tu jela yg boleh aku buat.Sementara mnunggu masa melawat tamat..

2 hari kemudiannya,ayah aku discharged dari hospital. Alhamdulillah, dy sehat, xde sbrg masalah. Skarang dy tgh cuti. Dlm 2 minggu xsilap aku. Kos operation ni lebih kurang dlm rm30,000. Mujurlah maybank, majikan ayah aku taja.

Tp kalau ayah aku pencen nnt mcm mana? sbb tu aku nekad nk dptkan kerja kerajaan.Biarlah org kata gaji sikit,janji dapat tanggung kos perubatan parents.

Akhir kata aku harap korang dpt doakan kesihatan ayah aku, and sayangilah parents korang sementara Allah masih mmberi nikmat beribu dan berbapa seperti sekarang.

Selamat hari Bapa !

Selamat hari bapa to my father,Muhammad Nazri Bin Baharuddin.You're always my HERO ! :D

Mama and grandma's day

Today is mother's day.Cos there's no grandmother's day,I just put it as today too.Love them both.Sharina Binti Shaari,the person who gave birth to me,and Noorain Binti Shariman,the person who took care of me till today.

Don't play-play with my opah,she used to teach English,and love to watch Korean dramas such as Boys over flower and Autumn in my heart.And my mother,she listen to updated English and korean songs! Super Junior,4minute,Girl's Generation and many more! :D

Happy mama-grandma day for both of you, and all other mama around the world!

We love you! <3