The people who left behind.

Everyone still happy with the digree intake result. Most of my friends get the chance to further their studies. Yeah, I do feel happy too. But still, I got this mix feeling. I feel abit sad. For those who left behind.

That 19th July, I check the Penerapan result with my handphone. And the result ''tidak berjaya'' pop out. I check my IC number and key in multiple times but still nothing changed. The feeling of despair,broken, sad, confusion. My eyes starts to get teary and questioned myself ''Did I mistakenly fill in the application form?", "Did they consider my C in Thermodynamics subject as not-fit-to-study in Mechy?", "Or did they mistakenly put my name out from the list?", ''what should I do now?"

But then,a few minutes later, Zabid tell me where exactly I should click. By then I know I clicked the wrong link. And I did get the chance to further my study in EM220, at UiTM Shah Alam. Alhamdulillah. I directly sujud syukur at that time.

Allah give me that few minutes feeling of someone who didn't get the chance to further his studies. Its really painful. At that time I realize, Im not that strong to face failure.

The people who left behind, isn't just them who ''tidak berjaya'' in the application. People who still didn't finish their diploma journey also being left behind, and people who stop the journey mid way. Surely in their mind, they will keep thinking ''It would be nice if Im moving with the same phase with my friends....''.

For my friends that still on your diploma journey, especially Haidhar, please don't give up. Finish the things that you had started. We all have different paths, but in the end, the destination is still the same. For our brighter future, and for the knowledge. You can do it, I believe in you. I know that one day you will be the architect that build my house.

And for Noa, you're not stuck with time, but you're stuck with the place. Honestly, I really hope that we can together go to UiTM Shah Alam, but Allah is the best planner. Maybe He want you to accompany Haidhar there. Well atleast you got Anip with you. Now Its time for us to depart.

Im gonna miss both of you there. I dont care if this sounds gay or not. I bet I can't have much laughter without both of you guys.

Now we still got time to hangout. And hopefully, we're gonna meet again during holidays later. Or we can always meet in Legendia.

Every good thing will have its end

>_<

Working pt.2

I've been working around 3 weeks. It's quite tiring because I don't have shift. From 10am until 10.30pm. And it's repeated almost everyday. But it feels really good because finally I can set my mind to rest, and my body do all the work.

Just like what Faki said, ''bila duduk rumah lama-lama, mula la terfikir bnda ni la, bnda tu la". So getting busy is really a good thing. It's like I put my mind into a limbo, and my body stays in reality. (When you wanna work aa Faki? haha )

There are 4 people that work together with me. My uncle, Kak Is, Nuoy and Ahdeq. Ahdeq just work as a part timer here. Its really funny when I have a conversation with Kak Is using 'Kak Is-saya' because Nuoy just used 'aku-ko' with her. It's funny because they will suddenly change into 'akak-adik' conversation infront of me. Haha. Well I feel like its important to put 'kak' for girls that is older than me (although some says they don't like it). I feel more comfortable. I really do wanna call Wawa with Kak Wawa but considering none of the boys use it so.....I just call her Wawa.

One thing that I feel really weird is that I suddenly become more sensitive these days. There's a time when a family with their children that suffer retardation come to the counter to order Nasi Ayam from me, I'm stunned and nearly cried.
Listening to sad song also become dangerous as it immediately change my mood =_=''

Other than that,I feel isolated with people working around here.Feels like I'm a total stranger. How come yesterday the casher girl from the beverages stall asked me ''kerja sini ke?'' when I'd already work here this long. Or maybe she just wanna have a chat, but asking that question aa..ask other thing cannot meh? @_@

The only people I recognized come to RTC Gopeng is one of UiTM Penang ENT lecturer and Nurakmal's family. Her father, mom and sister. It's funny because Pakcik Azizan wears blue T-shirt with "Azizan'' name on it. Then I immediately check Akmal's FB to confirm it's her father >_< . Akmal lazy to follow them, wew.

Last but not least, the danger will be far away from now. So I'm safe for now. But still I got this mixed feelings. Aiyaa.......  *Bang head on wall*

Working

I'd started to work at my uncle's Chicken Rice shop, at RTC Gopeng. This is the 2nd days. Quite tiring, been doing all sort of work. From casher till cooking. But still it's fun to learn all sort of things.

But being busy is a good thing, because I can distract my mind from keep thinking of thattttaannnywayy..

It feel so good to say thank you, and smile to so many strangers each day :D

Come visit me here, keke

A Diploma Story, Episode 0: Time Spent Walking Through Memories

I am afraid. Each time I click on this orange-B sign, I feel really afraid, and sad.

Because the only thing that will cross my mind, is about past memories. And as my finger dancing on this keyboard, I feel that my mind becoming numb and dull. Feels like I'm forcing my fingers to move, to write here.

This feeling, it is the same as when I'm leaving my beloved high school.

It feels like, watching the last episode of a very good drama series. You know it's the last episode, and you just hope that time would move slower, so that you can enjoy the very last moment of it. 

And when it's over, you will be asking ''Is that it? I need more.''  

3 years had passed and I'd already finish my diploma in Mechanical Engineering at UiTM Pulau Pinang. Too many things happen, too many things that I had learn. And now, It's a bitter time for me to say goodbye to friends, lecturers, Casa Prima, and UiTM Pulau Pinang. Arigatou..Sayonara..

The 4 Seasons lyric

A day in 2010. I'm in the class, too immerse in finishing The 4 Seasons lyric..........and its done! after a few days, the lyric is finally complete! Right on time,the school bell rings, well its time to go to physic class.

In Physic lab;

''Akmal, see this, our new song the 4season lyric is complete !'' I said to Gin, while showing the lyric to him.

''Woaaahh gimme that wanna read !" Said him.

Without we realise, Cikgu Naziha had started her teaching. Yet, the lyric sheet is pass from one person to another around our table. Zeroes sit in the same table at that time.

"Awie ! what's that? give me" Said Cikgu Naziha.

"Err, lyric cikgu." I replied.

I stand up, and give to Cikgu Naziha. Hoping that she didn't tear it up. For a moment, she read the lyric...

" Ishhh this lyric is so jiwang. Let me hold on to this until this class is finish" Said Cikgu Naziha while smirking at us.

After the class is over;

"Cikgu, this is not a love song. It's about us form 5 students, that will leave this school" I explain it to Cikgu Naziha.

" I see. Well, you guys should let me hear it then." She said.



There are around 10 songs that I had composed so far, and the 4 seasons is my favourite one. I know, im still an amature. I'm not sure what old timer composer would say when they see the 4season music arrangement, vocal notes and stuff.. but hey ! Atleast its something that came out deep from my heart.

Here it is,

Ku, hanya mampu menanti,
Menanti saatku, berlalu pergi,

Ku, rasakan sebak di dada,
Sakitnya menahan titisan air mata

Waktu, remaja hanya sekali,
Ianya datang, dan berlalu pergi

Kini semua hanya tinggal,
Tinggal kenangan

Saat kita bersama,
Tak dilupakan

Tabahkan hati, ini kenyataan,

Kenyataan ini amat, menyakitkan
Kenyataan ini amat, menyedihkan.

Inilah dia, takdir kita.

Dan ku, teruskan hidupku,
Semua ini pengalaman manisku.

Kita, kan berpisah di sini,
Sampai nanti kita bertemu lagi,
Walau ku harap saat terhenti,
Namun kini ingin ku katakan.

Selamat tinggal.



PS: actually I wanna compose 4season part 2. For people in UiTM Penang. I'll do it, maybe :)

Conviction (Something to keep safe)

Too many things happen these past years. Too many things to say.

I dont know from which I should start.

Whether the words later will reach personas.

I'm not sure,

but still, I will gather the strength to keep on writing here.

In the game of cat and mouse, it's really tiring.

Because the fact is, there's too many things that too good to be true.

Thats It !

*BOOOMM*

Its like a hit to the face, adoiyaii..

tiba2 terfikir pula kan.. so wanna share it here..here it is

Mungkin Allah belum temukan aku dgn jodohku kerana belum cukup sempurna imanku !

BANG BANG BOOM ! rasa mcm terkena straight to the face.. my own thought, give me facepalm..

This is it ! an accurate reason.. this is the answer

Yela, kalau iman sendiri tak terjaga, cemana nk jaga iman org lain betul tak?

well maybe I should change little by little. Mana2 kurang tu kena repair. InsyaAllah.